My Face & The Urinal, I Hate You!
It was a bloodbath... Issue #47
…ifOnlyi… had learned what going from hot to cold could do to the body. Just maybe this lesson would have woken me up and made me pay better attention in school. But it didn’t!
Mom took us kids on a six-hour car trip to an incredible mountain called Mammoth for a long weekend.
Coming home, Mom was cranking up the tunes in the car. The car heat was blazing as she played music she loved, including Donna Summer’s “The Disco Queen.”…
We were all singing and enjoying our drive back home.
I desperately needed to stop for a pee. When Mom pulled into the gas station, I felt like I would explode if I had to hold on a moment longer. I jumped out of the car and bolted to the restroom. It was ice cold after the hot, steamy car.
The next thing I knew, I woke up on my back at the urinal.
Maybe it was about 5 minutes later; my head was pounding, my pants were wet, my knees were cut, there was blood running down my face, and my head was pounding.
What the hell had happened? I struggled to get up, wipe my face, and wobble back to the car.
Mom was shocked to see the state I was in, and after answering a lot of questions, she realized I had fainted! Yes, I must have fainted because I went from a blazing hot car into the cold outside. Standing at the urinal, I passed out. Sober, yes.
My face had hit the chrome pipes on top of the urinal when I passed out.
I have to admit I never peed in the urinal, which is why my pants were all wet. I must have started the process of peeing when I fainted, and I continued to pee myself while I was passed out.
Next, I needed to figure out how to find dry pants in the car's trunk full of suitcases at night and change into them. OMG!
Cold, Dark, Soaking wet, sore, bleeding, dizzy, and angry…Why me?
Recovery and the embarrassment of my classmates & teachers at school seeing me black and blue for the next week or so made it difficult to keep my story straight.
What would I tell them? I fainted, knocked myself unconscious on a Urinal, and peed on myself. I don’t think so.
There was way too much EGO and pride in this teenager. No way was I going to get berated by the masses at school. There were 2000 students, and news spread like fire on laughable gossip. I would have been the joke of the school for months on end. There was no way I was going to let that happen.
So, I told a tiny lie. Every time someone asked what happened, I said… “A vicious beast of a dog attacked me.” Their reply was mainly;
“Oh, Ollie, that’s awful; how are you feeling?”
…ifOnlyi… short stories are published chronologically and follow my life growing up in California from 4 years old. If you’ve just found me, the stories will come together when you start reading from...Issue #1