Ollie, You Have 8 Hours To Make Your Decision.
Would this move push me deeper into depression or change my life?...Issue # 111
ifOnlyi…had said NO, where would I be today? This was a significant decision that did change my life forever—baby steppin’ all the way.
After my longest relationship ended, I spiraled.
The final blow came when Monica told me she was going back to the man who used to beat her.
That’s when I snapped!
Sobriety gone.
Cocaine replaced alcohol.
Espresso by day. Lies by night.
And the haunting hope that maybe, just maybe, I’d feel nothing at all.
Fifteen perfect months of sober living, flushed down the drain. I refused to drink alcohol, thinking cocaine would get me through the pain. Living alone didn’t help, nor did drinking espresso.
I wanted a way out. The guilt was overwhelming me all day, every day.
I’d work all day, then return to an empty apartment that echoed my misery. Alone. Depressed. Humiliated.
The shame ate at my soul, quietly destroying me. Only Jeff knew the whole story— and he was the only one holding me together. He was another friend whom I persuaded my family to hire. I knew talent when I saw it. He was a great asset.
I met Jeff when he was a bouncer at a nightclub in Redondo Beach, California, called Rubens. My oldest sister, her friend, and I would often go there with Monica before I got sober.
Jeff was a dead ringer for Tom Selleck, and he knew it. Later in his career with us, we moved him to head up our Hawaiian operations as our General Manager. That certainly built his ego while he was living there. OMG, everyone wanted his signature, and he played off it. Wearing the Detroit Baseball hat and the Hawaiian shirts, he was a chick magnet.
It was summer 1984, and I was still working in telephone sales for our family business; my friend John also worked there. Out of the blue, early on a Sunday morning, I got an unexpected phone call from my Mom.
Mom said, “Ollie, I need you and your friend John to catch a midnight flight to Dallas, Texas.
We were to attend the World Trade Center and assist in sales for my parents’ Company during a four-day trade show. They owned a permanent showroom in the building, and for many years, that territory held the number one spot in the country for our sales; however, it was now at rock bottom.
I got John on the phone right away, and the two of us decided we were up for the challenge. The territory was in dire straits and needed to boost its sales. The territory consisted of Texas/Oklahoma/Arkansas/Louisiana, and the southern part of New Mexico.
John and I turned that tradeshow into a competitive event for the two of us. We didn’t care about the other salespeople that were there; John and I were going to hit a sales volume that had never been achieved before.
We DID just that!
Arriving back in California, we were heroes. Our sales during the tradeshow were the best they had seen in many years.
A few weeks later, in mid-July, Mom came to me in the office and said, “Ollie, we need to talk.” Of course, my heart sank, my mind went into overdrive thinking Oh no, what have I done now?
For once, there was an air of excitement in her voice as she smiled and said, “Ollie, the Sales Manager in the Texas territory, is going to be fired, and after your incredible sales success during the tradeshow, we want you to replace him.“
I had no idea that those words would change my life forever.
“We would like you to move out there tomorrow, so I need an answer by 5 pm today.” Mom continued and then shared that she would pay me a whopping $25,000 per year, replacing our regional sales manager who earned $70,000 at that time.
“Mileage will be paid at $0.10 per mile to you, Ollie.
We will also cover your travel expenses, with a budget of $40 per night for accommodation, and provide a per diem of $20 when you're on the road to visit customers.
I tried to think this through carefully, but the office staff did not help the matter at all. “Ollie, you will find a wife there.” “Ollie, you will see places you’ve never been to before.” Ollie, this Ollie that, and my mind is already buzzing. I was having a tough time with being put on the spot. My Mom loved to spring things on us, by the way, expecting instant decisions.
Mom risks it all:
Our Company was once involved in a lawsuit with negotiations that dragged on for years, so Mom made a spur-of-the-moment decision.
During a closed-door meeting, she asked her lawyers, the defendant's lawyers, and everyone else present to leave the room—everyone except the gentleman involved in the legal battle.
Can you imagine what the lawyers were thinking?
“You want to have discussions without counsel present, what are you thinking?” Her lead counsel asked, but Mom did not comment.
Once out of the room, the two of them sat across the table from each other. Mom took a coin out of her purse and said, “Let’s flip this coin, and get this over with. If it comes up with your choice of heads or tails, I will walk out the door and accept the result.” If it goes in my favor, you will pay $ 400,000, and I will walk away content with the settlement.
Who does this? A coin flip, zero or 400k. She showed Dad the check at dinner that night and told him the story of how she settled the suit. He was gobsmacked, wondering how and why she would do such a thing, but he had to admit he was happy with the outcome.
“It’s over and done with,” Mom said, and now we can move on.
Now I felt as if she were pushing me to flip a coin, make an instant decision to move to Dallas, Texas, at a moment’s notice.
I was upset at the ridiculously low income she offered; it was the massacre of a salary in terms of a haircut. I went outside with my pal John and asked for his advice, but he didn't have any. “It’s your decision, Ollie,” was all he said.
The one thought I had was that I would stop using cocaine. It had been such a short time since I started using the drug that I believed I would get off it and get back to my sobriety, which was essential to me.
This was not the best way to make this decision at this level.
What put me over the top to say yes was that my parents’ friend and board member, Ken Sr., had a niece from Canada living and working in Los Angeles, and they arranged for her to drive out to Dallas with me to help me get settled if I said yes.
“Oh, OK, let’s do it,” I said, without giving it any more thought, even though I had never met her. I was having such a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, but I did it anyway. Then Mom told me to go to my apartment, close it down, and pack my car.
That evening, Mom invited me to her home, where she had an impromptu surprise party arranged for my “bon voyage”. The office staff all came over, and Mom, being Mom, had arranged it all in a flash.
Doubts started to creep into my head, and I began to think of not going now. Why? I had tickets to the opening day of the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles at the Coliseum. “Mom, do I have to go tomorrow? Can I go after the Olympics?” I asked,
“NO way, Ollie!” was her response, so I had no choice but to prepare for my journey into the unknown.
Goodbye Ollie - safe travels and best of luck:
The next morning, I had an early start and was off to pick up Lisa. I introduced myself, and the two of us were no longer strangers. We started the drive to Dallas, Texas, with no navigational system, just my trusted map.
Each morning, I would wake up early, grab towels, shampoo, and the trash bucket, and wash the car for the day’s drive. I had to have a fresh-looking vehicle, and with the amount of bugs hitting the windshield, can you blame me?
Lisa made the journey fun. She talked about anything and everything related to Canada, and she loved her heritage Big Time! We got on very well, and to be honest, it made the experience that much better. It kept my mind off everything I was going to miss, and thoughts about what I had to look forward to.
What would I need to do, and was I prepared?
Sales were shit, bottom of the barrel in the Company’s Texas/Oklahoma/Arkansas/Louisiana, and the southern New Mexico territories, and I was to reimagine, redesign, and rebuild the business sales, something I had never done before. The trust must have come from my Dad believing in my capability to get the job done. Dad never discussed it with me, but my heart tells me so.
I had a big, big responsibility ahead of me, and all I had was my youth, the knowledge that my Dad had taught me over the years, plus all those dinner parties when I would sit quietly at the table, listening and learning from the experts in our field.
Learning things I now know will play a part in the success of my newfound opportunity. A future I must prove to myself and the family that I am worthy of.
Please like, share, or comment if this story touches your heart.
I find myself hoping that all goes well for you in Texas. Looking forward to your next episode Ollie