When Was The First Time "You" Heard Your Parents Swear?

Mine was May 1974...Issue #46

ifOnlyi…I hadn’t laughed. Maybe it wouldn’t have happened to me! It did, 34 years later, Thank-you Dad!

You’re probably wondering who remembers something like that. Or you’re thinking, who gives a shit. Well, I have never forgotten! Here’s the story.

It was a hot start to summer, and it was late in May. Mom, Dad, and I were walking on our way to have a nice lunch somewhere special. I’m sure my mom checked the recommendations at the concierge desk in the hotel before booking.

We were walking down the Champs-Elysees in Paris, France. Mom and Dad were walking side by side, and I was walking outside them, close to the curb.

All of a sudden, I heard, “ OH F@ck, what’s this?“

Well, what that was, was a flock of Pigeons all in harmony took a perfectly timed poop on Dad’s Balding head. He went to check out what landed and scooped off a large wet pile of poop with the wisp of his hand.

He just kept saying over and over, “Oh F@ck…”

I was on the ground crying from laughing so hard. We were on our way to eat, so Dad told us to go ahead. He returned to the hotel to shower and put on fresh clothes.

Here it is, 50 years later, and I still can’t get that image out of my head. Thank goodness it wasn’t on “ My Head.” But later in life, it happened to me.

I am sure Dad got the last laugh at that event with me!

…ifOnlyi… short stories are published chronologically and follow my life growing up in California from 4 years old. If you’ve just found me, the stories will come together when you start reading from...Issue #1